Artistic Journeys Can Be Perilous
My last journal entry was in September so I believe it would be good form to show some sign of life now that the second month of the new year is well along. I am, indeed, alive and I am watching but my art is slow in coming. I am afraid of pollution. The single deviation that I submitted is all I feel I can reasonably offer at the moment.

Part of this is that I still have the weight of the fan work hanging on me- I am determined to finish it but I somewhat wish I had never started it.

If you would like to get to the point, skip this bit and read the final sentences; however, if you have nothing better to do then I can bore you with my pathetic art history.

For most of my life, I haven't been able to draw anything. When I was young I drew deformed figures that were meant to be human often accompanied by unreal amounts of blood and attacking animals- this should have been a warning sign to my poor parents and teachers but they believed too much in allowing me to express myself.

Anyway, several years passed where I thought that my disgusting scribbles would never get better and without any effort put in, they didn't. Then I came across a show that many of us know and quite a few of us adore: Sailor Moon. The art and plot were so different from what I had seen that I was immediately hooked. I searched out information on this show until I was a literal guru; but not only that, I started to draw. These figures with five fingers, large eyes and somewhat more realistic proportions were nothing like what I had seen on Disney or Nickelodeon.

Then, after finding out that this was common in Japanese animation, I delved into other anime but continuously used it as my artisitic lead. And so year by year, I got better at my art and it became more and more anime-styled everyday.

Now, as the market has suddenly exploded with anime (and not even really good anime), I have changed. I want to draw real faces and people. I want to draw architecture and peculiar non-humanoid creatures. But I can't. All along the way my father told me to draw something else, but when I tried it was never so good as I wanted it to be and I would give up easily thinking that I could do it some other time but that my anime people couldn't wait. I really wished I would have done it the other way around.

I am limited in what I can do artistically. I can write and I can draw somewhat. I plan to push myself as regards my drawing skills but a long, painful journey lies ahead. It will take a long time for me to reach anything that is worth exhibiting but I believe with time and lots of effort that it can be a great experience.

If you have any advice or tips that might help me better my art then I would love to hear it. Thank you for listening.